When Did I Stop Having Fun At Nightclubs?

I look around the dance floor, everyone is performing their enjoyment, but I cant, I’m not having fun. My jacket is still on, the one free drink I got is empty and I’ve eaten all the ice that was left in the glass. Someone I know walks up to be and they say ‘What’s up? Are you ok’? but they don’t really want to know, they just want me to say something pithy, but I cant right be arsed. I tell them I'm miserable, they laugh thinking it was a joke and walk off. It's not the answer they want so they go looking for someone else to satisfy their conversational needs.

I used to think dance floors were the most real thing. Pure moments of shared hedonism, animalistic joy. But now I'm not so sure. Have clubs changed, or do I see it differently now? I feel kind of numb.

I've never believed DJ’s are gods, but now Im starting to think that nightclub dance floors may actually be purgatory. Ever-twirling - nothing - changing – insipidly joyful monotony full of gay fools and femme clowns.

I feel like I'm searching for some other kind of realness now, still looking for some kind of truth. Its not that I want love, but I cant listen to any more ecstasy laced conversations sat on leatherette banquettes near a cloak room any more. I'm bored of my own chat let alone anyone else’s.

I go to the toilets, I knock on all the cubicle doors until a voice I recognise answers. I shout:

‘Hey it's Max , you got a bump for me?’

No one has any good drugs any more, or perhaps more likely no one has any drugs for me.

Another person I know suggests I call a dealer and they will go in with me. But I don’t have a dealer’s number, let alone money for drugs, I don’t even have any credit on my phone. Where was I the day they taught everyone to capitalise on their queerness? Did I miss that lesson?

Everyone seems to be able to make money off the dance floor but I cant, people are making films, making art, even lecturing at universities, stood in front of students in polo neck jumps, defining contemporary queerness into 10 sharp power point slides. How did they get there and I’m still shagging people for free drugs? I feel jealous but I don’t know what for.

The boys gather on the dance floor to be seen to enjoy what’s cool, to make them selves seem cool, or at least cooler than people thought they were. They want to gain enough cultural capital so their next boyfriend is slightly hotter. And when they get that new boyfriend they disappear from the dance floors again, back to dating.

Weekday dinners at Jidori, Sunday instagram posts from conservatory archives, watching an illegally downloaded version of ‘120 bmp’, feigning empathy for the queer cause through the safety of hazy 90’s nostalgia wrapped in a liberty cashmere blanket bought by their mother at Christmas.

I’m now stood in the smoking area, the boys surround me in their clean clothes, in uniform like black tee shirts, all ironed, their hair gel or the curve peak caps give a whiff of scally to their aesthetics but their reeboks are too clean. Middle class gay boys, into chav porn, wearing perfume from Le Labo and teeshirts from House of Voltair. They talk about their work on the peripheries of art and design. They talk about the up coming trip to the Greek islands with the boys. They talk about that one time they went to Snax for easter.

Someone says something about Miss Vanjie, I roll my eyes, wretch the last bit of cigarette smoke from my lungs and leave.

But I'm sure I'll be back next week.

Written by: Max Allen
Photos by: Max Allen

This April we are celebrating four years of ecstatic dancing and countless joyous moments in and out of the club. In this journey the artwork has been as important as our musical guests, therefore we are honouring this moment in time with a retrospective exhibition, showcasing some of our most seminal poster designs. 

Graphic designer and illustrator John Philip Sage, in collaboration with our creative director Stathis, has created a series of posters that tie together elements and notions of heritage, otherness and the occult while being inspired by the artistic identities of our guests behind the decks. 

The exhibition will run from 12 April until 5 May at Dalston Superstore Gallery. 





  • green m&m’s natures viagra how to buy viagra at tesco does medco cover viagra

    FbsbagilI on

  • viagra pills without prescription purchase generic viagra in canada viagra 100mg mexico

    DbsfRinnY on

  • cialis viagra generic can you get a heart attack from viagra i took a viagra and it got stuck in my throat

    FmsgagilI on

  • viagra script online sildenafil citrate tablets 100mg sildenafil 50mg united states

    FdbvRinnY on

  • sildenafil 20 mg tablet brand name cheap viagra online free shipping australia male viagra

    JsweZibly on

  • buy viagra with prescription best viagra over the counter legal generic viagra

    KbrgKara on

  • viagra clone https://wowviaprice.com female viagra

    FevbagilI on

  • viagra orvosi rendelvГ©nyre buybuyviamen.com death grip syndrome viagra

    FhsbagilI on

  • what is generic viagra 100 mg viagra price brand viagra

    DevkRinnY on

  • how to get viagra quickly viagra translation italian viagra available in sri lanka

    FbsgagilI on

  • walgreens over the counter viagra paradiseviagira.com viagra on;ine

    FrbhRinnY on

  • el viagra es bueno para la prostata is viagra cialis or levitra best for you viagra na allegro

    JivhZibly on

  • quick ship viagra https://purevigra.com notfallset viagra

    KmrfKara on

  • getting a viagra prescription online http://usggrxmed.com/ viagra online paypal accepted us online pharmacy viagra

    KmrfagilI on

  • generic viagra online http://fmedrx.com/ best site to buy generic viagra buy cheap viagra online next day delivery

    JildcagilI on

  • How’s it going, maxallenbabes?

    Want to be Instagram cool?

    If you’re like me, you have rummaged through Instagram, thinking “how do these darn people on Instagram get so famous”?

    Picture this: You arise early Friday, even before your alarm goes off.

    Roll over, check your cellphone.

    Make your way to Instagram.

    Whoaaa, you think, Over 561 likes on one picture.

    You rise out of the bed, and head to the kitchen. You want a drink, so you place the kettle on for some coffee, and check Instagram again.

    Presto! Another 63 likes.

    Here comes another one. This time it’s not a like but a message from one of your followers. They congratulate you on your success and let you know they love scrolling through your content.

    A smirk grows on your face as you see another message. This person emailed you to let you know she loves your posts.

    Within minutes, your phone buzzes AGAIN.

    It is another message coming in. You glance up at the clock—almost time for the gym. You’ll have to reply later.
    Anyways, you get the point. This is the life of an Instagram celebrity. I should know, because I have made many of them.

    Now, this is the point in time where you learn to take control of your Instagram.

    Now, what if you raised your popularity by 100%, or 1000%?

    It is not difficult to do, although almost no one does. Just visit our website. There, you will learn how to garner Instagram followers and likes like mad…easily.

    In just minutes after posting, you have your images piled with likes.

    If you are anything like our other clients, you’ll have a great chance of hitting the “Top Post” section in a very short time.

    Sound too good to be true? Here’s what you’ve got to do to get a taste:
    1. Check out https://rhymbo.host
    2. Put in your Instagram username.
    3. Your 3 most recent pictures will get 10 – 15 likes. Just like that.

    Hitting the Top Post page will 10X your InstaGrowth. But you have got to do more than just want it—you have got to do something about it. Are you willing?

    Chow until next time

    Teresita Daddario on

  • maxallenbabes,

    Want to be Instagram famous?

    Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be an Instagram Influencer?

    Picture this: You wake up early Friday, even before your alarm goes off.

    Roll over, check your phone.

    Click the Instragram App.

    Youare surprised at what you see: Over 652 likes on a single one of your pictures! There, you see a a huge amount of likes on your pictures—over 832 on a single photo alone.

    You rise out of your bed, and head to the kitchen. You want a drink, so you place the kettle on for some tea, and check Instagram again.

    Bam! Another 49 likes.

    Vrrrrrr—a message pops into your inbox from a follower. They are asking you for advice on how you manage your food, and are congratulating you on your third month of hitting the gym.

    As you read it, you begin to grin. It’s a super hot person, and they love your posts.

    As you sip your tea, you start typing up your response. But then your cell buzzes.

    It’s another message coming in. You glance up at the clock—almost time for the gym. You’ll have to reply later.
    Listen, maxallenbabes, most people just are not in control of their life. Hell, they can’t even get themselves to have a balanced brekky, much less hit the gym.

    I’m going to show you how to take control of your Instagram.

    Now, what if you raised your popularity by 100%, or 1000%?

    It is not difficult to do, although almost no one does. Just hit up our website. There, you’ll learn how to garner Instagram followers and likes like mad…effortlessly.

    Our pro-rated, confidential service quickly sends likes to your pictures a few minutes after you have posted them.

    With this you have a big chance to be featured in the “Top Post” section.

    Sound too good to be true? Just follow these steps to get a taste:
    1. Click https://rhymbo.club
    2. Put in your Instagram username.
    3. 10 – 15 likes are going to be sent to your three most recent pictures. Just like that.

    Being a everyday name on that page will increase your growth 10x, easy. But if you want the fame, you’ve got to reach for it. Are you ready?

    Happy image-uploading.

    Enid Curtsinger on

  • This is very interesting, You are an overly skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and sit up for in quest of extra of your fantastic post. Additionally, I’ve shared your website in my social networks

    http://canadianorderpharmacy.com/ on

  • You are so relatable. But the nightclubs in London have the power to entertain you every night. This is the place where you never feel old or bored.

    alex on

  • Asimjofa The equal is true of add-ons too. wholesale jewelry in Asia has never been less complicated to discover read other articles that offer the maximum stylish rings and women international mag fashion rings and get dressed the way to select the quality fashion earrings adorable Japan Korea for me a way to discover fashion jewelry online store for wholesale ladies’s rings on line store low prices. https://rcg.com.pk/asimjofa

    Asimjofa on

  • I’ve been in the same situation feeling kind of lost clubbing and just letting myself follow the river of my own insecurity. At the point I finally face myself and my inner fear, I started judging my impressions in life and even tho I thought I already had enough and I was done, now I’m thirsty for that new feelings and experiences where I found they were absent. Keep patient and keep fighting. Loved the post, you are so talented for real.

    Alfon Klebold aka @crimewavephantom on

  • whats the point of this article? To ridicule everyone who still likes clubbing when you’ve come to the conclusion that its monotonous?

    mmmmm on

  • So you got old and don’t enjoy clubbing like you used to, groundbreaking stuff bbz.

    Jackson on

  • omfg so relatable….loved this post <3

    You were always so nasty to me IRL but it makes sense after reading this.

    I’ll say hello if i ever see you again.

    xxx on

Leave a comment