When Did I Stop Having Fun At Nightclubs?

I look around the dance floor, everyone is performing their enjoyment, but I cant, I’m not having fun. My jacket is still on, the one free drink I got is empty and I’ve eaten all the ice that was left in the glass. Someone I know walks up to be and they say ‘What’s up? Are you ok’? but they don’t really want to know, they just want me to say something pithy, but I cant right be arsed. I tell them I'm miserable, they laugh thinking it was a joke and walk off. It's not the answer they want so they go looking for someone else to satisfy their conversational needs.

I used to think dance floors were the most real thing. Pure moments of shared hedonism, animalistic joy. But now I'm not so sure. Have clubs changed, or do I see it differently now? I feel kind of numb.

I've never believed DJ’s are gods, but now Im starting to think that nightclub dance floors may actually be purgatory. Ever-twirling - nothing - changing – insipidly joyful monotony full of gay fools and femme clowns.

I feel like I'm searching for some other kind of realness now, still looking for some kind of truth. Its not that I want love, but I cant listen to any more ecstasy laced conversations sat on leatherette banquettes near a cloak room any more. I'm bored of my own chat let alone anyone else’s.

I go to the toilets, I knock on all the cubicle doors until a voice I recognise answers. I shout:

‘Hey it's Max , you got a bump for me?’

No one has any good drugs any more, or perhaps more likely no one has any drugs for me.

Another person I know suggests I call a dealer and they will go in with me. But I don’t have a dealer’s number, let alone money for drugs, I don’t even have any credit on my phone. Where was I the day they taught everyone to capitalise on their queerness? Did I miss that lesson?

Everyone seems to be able to make money off the dance floor but I cant, people are making films, making art, even lecturing at universities, stood in front of students in polo neck jumps, defining contemporary queerness into 10 sharp power point slides. How did they get there and I’m still shagging people for free drugs? I feel jealous but I don’t know what for.

The boys gather on the dance floor to be seen to enjoy what’s cool, to make them selves seem cool, or at least cooler than people thought they were. They want to gain enough cultural capital so their next boyfriend is slightly hotter. And when they get that new boyfriend they disappear from the dance floors again, back to dating.

Weekday dinners at Jidori, Sunday instagram posts from conservatory archives, watching an illegally downloaded version of ‘120 bmp’, feigning empathy for the queer cause through the safety of hazy 90’s nostalgia wrapped in a liberty cashmere blanket bought by their mother at Christmas.

I’m now stood in the smoking area, the boys surround me in their clean clothes, in uniform like black tee shirts, all ironed, their hair gel or the curve peak caps give a whiff of scally to their aesthetics but their reeboks are too clean. Middle class gay boys, into chav porn, wearing perfume from Le Labo and teeshirts from House of Voltair. They talk about their work on the peripheries of art and design. They talk about the up coming trip to the Greek islands with the boys. They talk about that one time they went to Snax for easter.

Someone says something about Miss Vanjie, I roll my eyes, wretch the last bit of cigarette smoke from my lungs and leave.

But I'm sure I'll be back next week.

Written by: Max Allen
Photos by: Max Allen

This April we are celebrating four years of ecstatic dancing and countless joyous moments in and out of the club. In this journey the artwork has been as important as our musical guests, therefore we are honouring this moment in time with a retrospective exhibition, showcasing some of our most seminal poster designs. 

Graphic designer and illustrator John Philip Sage, in collaboration with our creative director Stathis, has created a series of posters that tie together elements and notions of heritage, otherness and the occult while being inspired by the artistic identities of our guests behind the decks. 

The exhibition will run from 12 April until 5 May at Dalston Superstore Gallery. 

https://www.facebook.com/events/1634862806551431/

https://www.instagram.com/discosodoma/

 

231 comments

  • prescription drug express scripts com pharmacies reputable indian pharmacies

    LebnagilI on

  • viagra non prescription https://jokviagra.com/ does viagra lower your blood pressure

    GtnbZibly on

  • tadalafil ( cialis ) http://cialisee.com/ cheap cialis alternatives

    FmrfagilI on

  • canada pharmacy no prescription https://xlnpharmacy.com/ canadian family pharmacy

    LebnagilI on

  • Forzest prescription drug cost Avalide

    JebgagilI on

  • wwwfreecialispills http://ucialisdas.com/ cialis 20 mg tablets

    LbsoRinnY on

  • viagra without a doctor prescription canada http://jokviagra.com/ where can you buy viagra

    GtnbZibly on

  • what does female viagra do http://loxviagra.com/ viagra super active

    BbshKara on

  • viagra preГ§o mg http://llviagra.com/ – online order for viagra in india viagra store in karachi

    AnooagilI on

  • brand cialis 20mg http://rcialisgl.com/ – cialis viagra sales cialis without prescription

    RebfRinnY on

  • cialis sell http://cialisee.com/ – cialis for sale on amazon cialis and depoxitine

    FmrfagilI on

  • viagra connect cvs https://loxviagra.com/ pornhub viagra

    BbshKara on

  • cialis paypal pay with http://ucialisdas.com/ – buy cialis brand cialis soft

    LbsoRinnY on

  • cialis liquid for sale https://rcialisgl.com/ generic cialis without prescription

    RebfRinnY on

  • farmacia on line viagra http://llviagra.com/ – do you become dependent viagra viagra entrega en mano valencia

    AnooagilI on

  • Lumigan http://pharmacylo.com/ Retrovir

    JebgagilI on

  • does cialis work http://cialisee.com/ cialis prescription online

    FmrfagilI on

  • free viagra https://jokviagra.com/ watermelon natural viagra

    GtnbZibly on

  • anti viral http://xlnpharmacy.com/ muscle relaxant

    LebnagilI on

  • cheap cialis generic online https://ucialisdas.com/ buy generic cialis

    LbsoRinnY on

  • Florinef http://xlnpharmacy.com/ discount pharmaceuticals

    LebnagilI on

  • Cephalexin http://pharmacylo.com/ legitimate online pharmacy

    JebgagilI on

  • viagra

    Snobago on

  • best viagra alternatives http://jokviagra.com/ do you need a prescription for viagra

    GtnbZibly on

  • what does viagra do https://loxviagra.com/ viagra vs sildenafil

    BbshKara on

  • viagra newspaper ad http://llviagra.com/ viagra dayquil

    AnooagilI on

  • cialis 5mg australia http://rcialisgl.com/ – cialis 50mg price dapoxetin,cialis

    RebfRinnY on

  • free viagra samples http://gensitecil.com/ canadian viagra

    BbdfKara on

  • modafinil online pharmacy https://onlinecanda21.com/ buy prescription drugs online

    JbsdagilI on

  • Lumigan http://uspharmus.com/ pharmacy intern

    FbsfagilI on

  • levitra discount card https://uslevitraanna.com/ does medicare cover levitra

    LrbsagilI on

  • levitra strengths how much is levitra at walmart when will levitra be generic

    LrbsagilI on

  • canada pharmacies https://onlinecanda21.com/ Erythromycin

    JbsdagilI on

  • Brand Viagra https://canadianeve21.com/ – Dostinex Tofranil

    AbdgagilI on

  • viagracialisevit https://asciled.com/ – cheap name brand cialis cialis en mexico

    LhdvRinnY on

  • cialis 10 mg price https://cileve.com/ – cialis generika china cialis 10mg price

    RfvbRinnY on

  • mail order pharmacies https://uspharmus.com/ Sildigra

    FbsfagilI on

  • viagra headache https://gensitecil.com/ – viagra over the counter walgreens what happens if a girl takes viagra

    BbdfKara on

  • cheap cialis canadian https://asciled.com/ cialis 20 mg best price

    LhdvRinnY on

  • brand cialis 20mg https://cileve.com/ generic cialis express delivery

    RfvbRinnY on

  • Cefixime http://canadianeve21.com/ Rumalaya

    AbdgagilI on

  • tadalafil and alcohol https://boxtadafil.com/ sildenafil tadalafil

    GvdbZibly on

  • canadian pharmacy online canada https://onlinecanda21.com/ Aristocort

    JbsdagilI on

  • online pharmacies uk https://uspharmus.com/ Topamax

    FbsfagilI on

  • levitra 3 free trial voucher https://uslevitraanna.com/ side effects of levitra

    LrbsagilI on

  • viagra cialis sample pack https://asciled.com/ – american cialis buy cialis in australia online

    LhdvRinnY on

  • levitra copay card http://uslevitraanna.com/ free levitra trial offer

    LrbsagilI on

  • Lumigan https://onlinecanda21.com/ Epitol

    JbsdagilI on

  • tadalafil mylan http://boxtadafil.com/ – tadalafil and dapoxetine reviews tadalafil enteraction with medicine

    GvdbZibly on

  • viagra without a doctor prescription usa https://gensitecil.com/ what if viagra doesnt work

    BbdfKara on

  • prescription discount http://canadianeve21.com/ Sinequan

    AbdgagilI on

  • О±П…ОёОµОЅП„О№ОєОї П‡О±ПЂО№ cialis https://cileve.com/ buying cialis

    RfvbRinnY on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Ugiinooc Ulikeh dgd.owyc.waveygarms.com.mwr.db http://slkjfdf.net/

    afiorunuda on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Aloqodak Eonefova zyw.unjr.waveygarms.com.akf.ct http://slkjfdf.net/

    amuhetacezo on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Uzunouk Erorepub cdi.avoj.waveygarms.com.fjx.zt http://slkjfdf.net/

    axifeznzic on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Koxooqi Abadef ywh.zham.waveygarms.com.odm.yg http://slkjfdf.net/

    patahexoteya on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Semiba Iliule jhe.qjtg.waveygarms.com.onk.ik http://slkjfdf.net/

    qubawixumih on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Ukaxifiiw Osigojya dnh.ovfz.waveygarms.com.ffe.re http://slkjfdf.net/

    ebipaeweg on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Iugaca Cukasilaq lck.zlka.waveygarms.com.xic.dh http://slkjfdf.net/

    ouesocalawxaw on

  • http://slkjfdf.net/ – Oyojiti Uhiququsu dfj.vvop.waveygarms.com.hkt.wc http://slkjfdf.net/

    iovitifipifud on

  • When Did I Stop Having Fun At Nightclubs? – Wavey Garms
    [url=http://www.gq10a2sn740wnl75i6ex6h64f3x812ggs.org/]ulmtpppgk[/url]
    lmtpppgk http://www.gq10a2sn740wnl75i6ex6h64f3x812ggs.org/
    almtpppgk

    lmtpppgk on

  • https://thesisacloud.com/ – thesisacloud.com law thesis thesisacloud.com writing a doctoral thesis

    FbshagilI on

  • https://thesiswritingtob.com/ – thesis proposal example help me write a thesis thesis proposal example best thesis editing services

    AbgcagilI on

  • https://thesiswritingtob.com/ – thesis proposal example help me write a thesis thesis proposal example best thesis editing services

    AbgcagilI on

  • https://ljcialishe.com/ – how long does cialis last https://cialisvja.com/ – cialis and viagra together https://viagraonlinejc.com/ – woman on viagra commercial https://viagratx.com/ – international viagra online https://buycialisxz.com/ – canadian cialis

    BrfgKara on

  • https://ljcialishe.com/ – how long does cialis last https://cialisvja.com/ – cialis and viagra together https://viagraonlinejc.com/ – woman on viagra commercial https://viagratx.com/ – international viagra online https://buycialisxz.com/ – canadian cialis

    BrfgKara on

  • https://thesisacloud.com/ – psychology thesis topics master thesis writing service best thesis editing services education thesis

    FbshagilI on

  • https://thesisacloud.com/ – psychology thesis topics master thesis writing service best thesis editing services education thesis

    FbshagilI on

  • https://kloviagrli.com/ – how often can i take viagra https://vigedon.com/ – is viagra dangerous https://llecialisjaw.com/ – cialis active ingredient https://jwcialislrt.com/ – taking cialis https://jecialisbn.com/ – how much is cialis

    GrvZibly on

  • https://kloviagrli.com/ – how often can i take viagra https://vigedon.com/ – is viagra dangerous https://llecialisjaw.com/ – cialis active ingredient https://jwcialislrt.com/ – taking cialis https://jecialisbn.com/ – how much is cialis

    GrvZibly on

  • self life of vardenafil https://vegavardenafil.com/ vardenafil hcl 20mg tab

    why vardenafil dosage over 65 on

  • generic sildenafil 100mg price https://eunicesildenafilcitrate.com/ sildenafil generic without preпЅ“пЅѓпЅ’пЅ‰пЅђпЅ”ion

    sildenafil citrate online pharmacy on

  • https://ponlinecialisk.com/ – buying cialis online safely

    Snobago on

  • https://thesisacloud.com/ – thesis support help writing a thesis statement help writing a thesis statement how to write thesis proposal

    FbshagilI on

  • https://thesisacloud.com/ – thesis support help writing a thesis statement help writing a thesis statement how to write thesis proposal

    FbshagilI on

  • http://essaywriteris.com/ – how to be a good essay writer buy essays cheap write my essay can someone write my essay for me

    LmoppagilI on

  • http://essaywriteris.com/ – how to be a good essay writer buy essays cheap write my essay can someone write my essay for me

    LmoppagilI on

  • https://dissertationahelp.com/ – examples of dissertations umi dissertation services dissertation outline proposal for dissertation

    JvqqagilI on

  • https://dissertationahelp.com/ – examples of dissertations umi dissertation services dissertation outline proposal for dissertation

    JvqqagilI on

  • https://thesisacloud.com/ – writing a graduate thesis thesis consultant thesis service doctoral thesis database

    FbshagilI on

  • https://thesisacloud.com/ – writing a graduate thesis thesis consultant thesis service doctoral thesis database

    FbshagilI on

  • http://fcialisj.com/ – cialis online cheap

    Swodiem on

  • what was viagra originally used for viagra best buy reviews viagra vs birth control insurance coverage

    KndnKara on

  • what was viagra originally used for viagra best buy reviews viagra vs birth control insurance coverage

    KndnKara on

  • does cialis really work http://buycialisxz.com/ cheapest cialis from india

    NbmoRinnY on

  • does cialis really work http://buycialisxz.com/ cheapest cialis from india

    NbmoRinnY on

  • when should you take viagra http://viagraonlinejc.com/ viagra experience

    FjjuRinnY on

  • when should you take viagra http://viagraonlinejc.com/ viagra experience

    FjjuRinnY on

  • viagra throught paypall http://viagriyvik.com/ when will viagra patent run out?

    Abcfapokekpom on

  • viagra throught paypall http://viagriyvik.com/ when will viagra patent run out?

    Abcfapokekpom on

  • money loan baguio electronic payday signature loans payday loans in scott la

    KvaxKara on

  • money loan baguio electronic payday signature loans payday loans in scott la

    KvaxKara on

  • how do i get viagra without a prescription http://vigedon.com/ order viagra online canada

    NbnhRinnY on

  • how do i get viagra without a prescription http://vigedon.com/ order viagra online canada

    NbnhRinnY on

  • omaha payday loans ica payday loan 12 month loans money today

    JbnvZibly on

  • omaha payday loans ica payday loan 12 month loans money today

    JbnvZibly on

  • cialis without prescribtion http://llecialisjaw.com/ cialis

    FbsgRinnY on

  • cialis without prescribtion http://llecialisjaw.com/ cialis

    FbsgRinnY on

  • buy viagra south africa online generic viagra buy viagra in usa

    Kbbfmaism on

  • buy viagra south africa online generic viagra buy viagra in usa

    Kbbfmaism on

Leave a comment